HOO-DINT and Talking to a Guy, but Not Really

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ITEM! My double vision continues, but with small improvements. My neurosurgeon in Dallas says the MRI report…uh, reported no abnormalities. Thing is, the report is just that, a report. That is, the radiologist at the local hospital looked at the scans and reported his findings on the report. All due respect to the local medical talent, but they don’t know a cavernoma from… something that isn’t a cavernoma (I can’t think of anything, sorry). My point is that I’ll have a more definitive answer after my neurosurgeon views the scans. Until then, it is his assertion that I’ve had a “micro-bleed”

I’ve come up with a very clever TBI is…To Better Inform (clever, no?) you of my perspective of such a small bleed –

…Tiny Bleed Interruption-Unconfirmed, but I might’ve had a “micro-bleed” which will be a minor blip on my plan for world domination

The thing that’s very puzzling about this instance is that I’ve felt no other symptoms. As such, I feel confident enough that I can declare this a “minor blip”. I hope this doesn’t come back and bite me in the ass – I’ve found that making statements such as that are an invitation for bad sh*t to happen.

The other possibility is that the double vision is a side effect of a new medication. I think there are some who wouldn’t (aside: there are two possible word combinations there – 1. ‘Who wouldn’t…’ and, 2. ‘Who’d not…’ I propose a three way contraction (menage a troiction?) – who’d’nt – I suppose it’d be pronounced “HOO-DINT”). This new phrasing in mind, allow me to rewrite the second sentence of this paragraph. I think there are some who’d’nt mention the name of the drug because they don’t want to offend the manufacturer or make it known that they have a disorder that requires said medication, but I have no such qualms. Listen, the medication under discussion is called Viibryd. Now that that I think about it, there are two ‘i’s because, after taking it, you’ll have twice as many eyes. Anyway, I started taking this stuff to treat depression – Zoloft just weren’t cuttin the mustard no more. I have to make a choice – do I want to be more happier and see two of everything? or see one of everything and be less happier?

Finally, you might be wondering what it’s like to have double vision. A man stopped me on the street and asked me about that the other day. He tapped me on the shoulder with his purse (I thought it might have been a woman until I heard him talk). With a face that looked like a feminine Martin Sheen and a voice like Mr. T, he said, “I pity da foo with double vision, what’s it like? And have you seen Rocky? He owes me a rematch.” I looked at him in disbelief, how does this stranger know about my double vision?  Then I considered my eye patch

I call this one "Patch on Right Eye Jarrett" because the patch is on my right eye.
I call this one “Patch on Left Eye Jarrett” because the patch is on my right eye.I call this one "Patch on Left Eye Jarrett" because the patch is on my rig...err, left eye
I call this one “Patch on Right Eye Jarrett” because the patch is on my lef…err, right eye

then I realized that by “A man stopped me on the street,” I really meant “nobody stopped me anywhere ever” and by “asked me about that the other day,” I meant “didn’t talk to me on any day.”

If you want to experience double vision, walk around with your eyes crossed all day.

One more thing – Like I said, my vision seems to be getting better, but I’ve had to employ lots of tricks, if you are experiencing “diplopia” I’d be glad to share my tricks with you – leave a comment. Speaking of comment, what do you think of ‘who’d’nt’? Do you know where Rocky is?


  1. Jarrett, I sure hope your neurosurgeon will figure out what the problem is and fix it…….now!!!!! Love you.

  2. Thanks family members! I often wonder how I’ve been able to endure so much. The answer occurred to me when I saw your comments. Your support keeps me going! Thanks for being the most awesomest family ever!

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