SiLiMes #11 – “HOLD of the Rising Sun”

Here’s another silly message I sent to the reading teachers when one of their students has book ready that had been reserved. Again, *= A student’s name.

There is a Library in Sherman,TX
They call the *school name* Library
And it’s reserved books for many a student
And Gosh, * & * are some

My mother is a bureaucrat
She is very particular about dates
She insists the book get picked up by WEDNESDAY 11/02
And be sure they bring money to pay late rates

SiLiMes #6 – Infomercial Hold

Inspired by countless ads for everything from poultry cookers (“set it and forget it!”)to a a very miraculously absorbent shammy (“all I can say is ShamWOW!”), I came up with this message to inform teaching teachers that one of their students has a book ready to be checked out. Again. * represents a student’s name –
Are you tired of coming to the library only to find the book you’re looking for is checked out? Tired of that empty feeling when you look on the shelf where your book should be and seeing a book shaped hole? Do you wish there was a way to “hold” a book, so that it’s kept in your name when it’s returned? Are you tired of all the questions in this e-mail? GOOD NEWS! No more questions, and * answered yes to each of the first three questions, put a book on “hold” and now it’s ready! Be warned! This “hold” will expire on TUESDAY 1/10.

Infomercially,
Jarrett

SiLiMes #5 – Mr. Roboto Hold

For this reserve e-mail, I ripped off Styx’s “Mr. Roboto”. The ‘+’ represents the teacher’s name, the –o would be added onto the end of that name (for instance, if the teachers name was Mr. Kotter, I’d first to welcome him back, and I would address him as Mr. Kotter-o). The “*” represents a student’s name.

Domo Arigato Mrs. +-o,
You’re wondering who I am – machine or library man. I send out hold e-mails and like to write tall tales!I’ve got a hold, ready for *
She has until, MONDAY 11/21, to get this far
So if you see me acting strangely, that’s really bad,
I hate to see, a hold go wasted, it makes me sad,
Send her on time, send her on time,
Can’t find a word to rhyme (oh wait)

Sayonara,
Jarrett

SiLiMes #4 – Annabel Lee Hold

It was many and many a year ago,

In a library not too far,

That a student there visited whom you may know

By the name of  *;

And a book beckoned to her –

“Come get me, no matter where you are”

I am an adult and she is a child,

In this library not too far;

And, as the library aide it is my job to inform her-

How long this hold will be;

With an e-mail to her reading teacher, saying –

WEDNESDAY 11/9, this school day plus three

Annabel Lee-ily,

Jarrett