Tag Blog, Part Eye Eye

…Just as Bender was telling Fry to bite his shiny metal ass, there was a knock at the door and the sound of someone dry heaving.

 

“Come in!” Shouted Zumba.

 

Schwarzenegger walked in, bumping his gratuitously tall hat on the doorway.

 

Mr.T followed meekly behind him, one hand wrapped around a bucket, the other holding his stomach. His eyes were watery and very bloodshot.

 

Zuma stuck out a hand, “It’s an honor to meet you Mr. T.”

 

Mr. T’s cheeks puffed out, face turned green and quickly lowered his head into the bucket, “BWAAAAHHH!”

 

Mr.T heaved once more then stuck his hand out.

 

“Mistah T is getting vyorse by da minute. If we don’t hurry he might hyaf a brain heemrage and need brain surgery.” Schwarzenegger said grimly.

 

Mr. T pulled his head out of the bucket, “I pity da foo who needs brain surgery – they go through yerrs of physical therrapy.”

 

“Yes, nyeurosyurgery is sometheeng to avoid if yoo can.” Offered Schwarzenegger.

 

Mr.T started throwing up again. Schwarzenegger grabbed Zumba, “Aw yoo ready to go? A helicoptah eee waiting for yoo.”

 

“I’d like to finish my orange juice first if you don’t mind.”

Schwarzenegger flung him towards the sidewalk in front of his home and yelled, “I do mind! Now RUN! GET TO DA CHOPPAH!

OY! This story is running away from me, but I like where it’s going. Furthermore, I’m so busy that I’m contemplating giving up sleep. I’ve already given up eating and I’m fine; the purple leprechaun with the voice of Sean Connery assures me that I don’t need sleep either.

The LepreSean
The LepreSean

I told my neighbor about “LepreSean” and he said that I was hallucinating, that I should eat. I told LepreSean about this and said, “Thish ish intolerable…”I didn’t catch the rest because I passed out.

 

Anyway, my point is that I hope to have this epic tale of vomiting and the Rocky Mountain Aztec Gods tomorrow. Stay tuned!

@JarrettLWilson

Unprovoked vomit and the Suffocation Dangers of Too Much Recollecting

Tis time to get back to memory lane in our frozen milk conveyance. Recall my last recollection. Recall x2, I’d call that total recall, but the kind with Arnold Schwarzenegger, WATCH

 

Assuming that you still have eyes and can read good, let’s go back to April 23, I told you about my PT regimen and the terrible injustice of being assigned to TRILS rather than ILS. The next entry is what this blog is all about. I think the title of the entry says it all –

 

Surgery (August 25, 2009)

As I mentioned in my last post, I have brain surgery on Sept. 3rd.

I am taking the week leading up to the date off from rehab.

I am scared, very scared. Yesterday in the education group, we discussed the parts of the brain. For me, that was a reminder of the vital functions the brain stem performs.

On the plus side, I get a haircut…more like THE haircut, as there won’t be any hair left. I would say it’s free, but it’s anything but.

The evil Internet informs me of the immense pain after surgery, the deficits afterward and the grammar problems I will have when it’s over (or so it appears, people on the Internet have lousy grammar…they say it’s only the Internet, but where else do people publish writing for such a wide audience?).

The idea of having this surgery inspires a great sense of loneliness. I know many of you would do whatever you could to see to my recovery, but I have to face this obstacle alone. When I go under I will be in the hands of the surgeons (I hope they sleep well and have a nice breakfast!). This should not suggest I don’t appreciate all the help I have received. I owe it to many of you for making it as far as I have.

Thank you.

 

Even though it’s been four years, I still feel a bit of disbelief when I think about or mention that I’ve had brain surgery. I think I still have the same disbelief now that I had then.

 

I need to correct a few things on this entry. First of all, head shaving is not required for my flavor of surgery. I was a bit disappointed at this. I’d always wanted to see what I’d look like completely bald (I did this a year or so later, behold).

Scar

Secondly, I’m not sure where I read about all the pain, but I didn’t have that problem at all. I’ve mentioned this before, but I found that vomiting was a pretty big issue. I’m not talking about “OH MY GOD, I’M GONNA THROW UP! GET ME A GARBAGE CAN!” It would go something like this –

 

While eating lunch, reminiscing with my grandmother about catching lightning bugs while staying at her house in the summer. She starts to recall a particular instance, “Do you remember that boy from down the street? You hated playing with him, but one time he came and brought you a jar with five or six lightning bugs to show you what he could do so that he could play with you…” *BWUUUHHH* without cause or warning I’d upchuck all over my food and interrupt my dear grandmother’s story (I ralphed all over a dish of chocolate chip cookies, still trying to get over that one).

 

I’m getting ahead of myself, at this point in the reminisceses 😛 I’ve only scheduled surgery – I haven’t horked on a dish of cookies while exchanging pleasantries with my dear grandmother.

 

Getting back to the entry itself – I mention that “I have to face this obstacle alone.” That was my Academy Award entry. While it’s true that I had to go it alone, I feel that the love and support of so many carried me through that day and up to now. It’s kind of like Life Alert – I went through it alone, without ever being alone (view the ad HERE)

FIN

@JarrettLWilson

How it Began…

Hello Internet! In the manner of my father and so many before him, this blog was created to keep my circle of people informed about what’s going on in my head (literally).

It all started the week of May 17-23. I noticed a slight headache on Monday that persisted the whole week. On Thursday night the pain became excruciating. Friday, I still had the headache and started throwing up. I skipped work that day and went to my GP. The good doctor gave me shots for pain and nausea/vomiting, he told me to go to the ER and get a CT Scan if the headache didn’t go away by the next day. It didn’t. Jessica took me to the ER on Saturday and I got my head scanned. By this time, I was having a little trouble with anything fine-motor related, my left side was going numb and my right eye was drooping (in addition to the headache).