Tag Blog Finale, or Is It?

Tags I still have left: Botox  causality cavernoma  Conditions and Diseases Dog  Health Life Alert Magnetic resonance imaging Medicine  OWFI Recreation  Satan Shopping Skylander spasticity sporks tattoos TBI  the big lebowski  Trauma and Injuries TRILS

“Wait, yoo don’t nyeed to get to da choppah. I’m a vyizerd. I can use myagic to zap yoo dehr.” Said Schwarzenegger apologetically.

“Then why’d you throw me?” Asked Zumba angrily.

“I wanted to shout GET TO DA CHOPPAH!”

Zumba huffed, “That’s just silly. Can we get going please?”

*ZAM* Just as he got the last word out he saw a bright flash of light and heard a loud crack. His feet came out from under him, he fell and smacked his head on a concrete sidewalk where his front lawn used to be.

Zumba and Mr. T were standing in front of a run-down Denny’s.

Zumba stood up, rubbed the back of his head… I’ll finish the rest of the story on Saturday, promise.

Tag Blog, p.1

A+ certification Arnold Schwarzenegger aztec gods Botox Brain surgery causality cavernoma CompTIA Conditions and Diseases Dog double vision Family Futurama Germanfest Health hemorrhage Hobbit Home hot water heater Kurt Vonnegut Life Alert Magnetic resonance imaging Medicine Mr. T Neurosurgery orange juice OWFI Physical therapy Recreation Rocky Satan Shopping Skylander spasticity sporks tattoos TBI Technology the big lebowski Tolkien Trauma and Injuries TRILS United States vomiting Zumba

The above words were on my “most used” tags a few months ago. Most of these I only used once, so I thought I’d bring them closer to a true “most used” by making up a story.

I started a story when I first checked the  the list – didn’t like it. As such, this is my second attempt at “tag blog”. There were a lot of people maimed and injured in the making of this blog, especially those who read it and didn’t audibly guffaw –

The Hobbit sat quietly at his computer studying for the CompTIA A+ exams. All of a sudden, he heard a hearty knock on his door.

He scampered down the hallway to the big round door, and opened it very cautiously. On his doorstep, he saw a very large man in a grey cloak and a matching tall grey cap. The man looked down at him and, in a very strong Austrian accent, asked “Aw yoo da hah-bit named Zoomba?”

The hobbit considered the hulking pilgrim in front of him. “I’m a hobbit, not a habit. And yes, my name is Zumba. Who are you?”

The man seemed pleased to hear this, replied, “I’m Schwarzenegger the Grey. I’ve come to ask yoo to help wit a special ehrind.”

Zumba invited Schwarzenegger inside to hear about the errand.

Schwarzenegger the Grey started telling Zumba about Mr. T and his terrible vomiting sickness. “Da Aztec gahds put a cyurse on Mistah T, now he has dah-ble vision and he throws ahp every 10 minutes.”

Zumba grimaced in disgust, “How can I help? I’m not a doctor.”

“I know dat. I read a book by Kyurt Vonnegut that said that hah-bits aw viery handy for special ehrinds, what wit yoor abilidy to turn inveezable.” Replied Schwarzenegger proudly.

Zumba looked at Schwarzenegger with confusion, “Sorry to tell you, but I can’t turn invisible. Also, you must be thinking of a book by JRR Tolkien, not Vonnegut.”

Schwarzenegger sighed, “Dat doesn’t mattah. Doo yoo hyaf any special pahwas?”

Zumba furrowed his brow in thought, “hmm…” He paced a few steps and suddenly stopped with a jerk. “I’m very good with technology and fixing hot water heaters. Do those count?” Zumba asked hopefully.

Schwarzenegger let out an even deeper sigh, “Dehr going to hyaf to count. Rocky already tyurned me down.

Pleased with his better than nothing status, Zumba asked, “What is the errand?”

“Yoo aw to accompany Mistah T to da yunited states to confront the Aztec Gahds dat poot da cyurse on heem.”

“Aren’t the Aztec Gods from Mexico?” Asked Zumba, puzzled.

Schwarzenegger nodded, “Dey decided dat Mexico was too haht, then moved to Denvah.”

Zumba tilted his head. Perplexed he asked, “Gods can do that?”

“Dey aw gahds, dey can doo whatevah dey want.”

Zumba considered this for a moment, then asked, “When do we leave?”

“I hyaf tah go get Mistah T, I left him at a jyermanfest bathroom, dehr weel be lots of people vomiting dehr, he’ll fit right in. I didn’t want heem to throw ahp all over your home.”

With that, Schwarzenegger got up and lumbered toward the door and pulled it open. Just before he walked out, he turned to Zumba and declared, “Al be back” and turned to leave.

Not wanting to be bored, Zumba quickly asked, “Do I have time for an episode of Futurama or Family Guy?”

But he was already gone…

To be continued…

@JarrettLWilson

B-=A+

ITEM! I passed the first exam for A+ certification (aka 220-801). This coming Tuesday, I’ll take the second part (220-802).

Having passed one of the two tests, I’ve half the certification. In essence, I’m A+ certifi…. I have half a certificate that says “This certifi…. [new line] Jarrett… [new line] has successfully completed… [new line] and is entitled to all…[new line] Signed, the 18th of…[new line] Jebidiah…[end of document half].”

I get the rest of the certificate when I pass the next test (and I get to know Jebidiah’s last name! My guess is “Ria” – get it Jebi-diarrhea? Comment with your guesses).

In addition to uncovering Jebidiah’s last name and the other half of the certificate (the “cation” if you will), you also get a BFF that always hangs around to compliment your outfits and finish your sentences (similar to a friend that has the other half of a BFF heart pendant necklace.)

The content of the next test concerns…

Oh yeah, I don’t have a BFF to finish my sentences yet.

FIN
@JarrettLWilson

I Still Love Technology, but Not as much Cleaning, You See; Always and Forever

I’m going to be pretty busy tomorrow, so I’m counting this as my Tuesday blog. I might still post something tomorrow, BUT I PROMISE NOTHING!

TBI is…Tidy up Break from my Investigation. I’m almost ashamed to admit this. I’ve been studying (“investigating”) for the A+ certification exam for the past few days. What is A+? It’s a certification that says that I am qualified for handling/troubleshooting the common technology of today. Easy enough for a guy like me, right? Actually, no…there are plenty of questions about not so modern technology and details about modern technology that would bumfuzzle even the nerdiest of nerds.

First off, there are questions that I do know, such as, “What is your name?” I should get that one correct.

There will also be questions like, “A client just got a computer with an AGP slot and would like to know what it’s for, what will you tell the client?” I can’t write in an answer, but I’d put something like this if I could – “I’d go back in time and tell this person not to buy the computer because AGP (Accelerated Graphics Port) is outdated. I’d then advise this person to buy a computer with a PCI express x16 slot.” The answer to this question is something like, “It’s an expansion slot for video cards.”

The real difficulty comes in when they ask a question like, “Your computer needs RAM with 240 pins, what kind will you get?” I know what you’re saying, “It’s DDR3, you dunce!”…

Seriously, look at all the notes I’ve taken –

IMAG0828

Most of these are front and back with another notecard stapled to the back. I should note also that THERE ARE TWO FRIGGIN TESTS! The notes you see here are only for the first test.

I’m getting off track here, the point is that I’ll be studying pin counts and sockets and whatnot for a few hours and think I could use a study break.

Then I start thinking about all the wonderful things I can do for a break – play video games, watch tv, read a magazine.

For whatever reason, none of those sound as appealing as *cue dramatic voice* CLEANING!

What’s worse is I’ll get so into cleaning, the cleaning and the studying switch roles – I’ll clean for a few hours, then think I better take a study break.

 

FIN

@JarrettLWilson