Inspired by countless ads for everything from poultry cookers (“set it and forget it!”)to a a very miraculously absorbent shammy (“all I can say is ShamWOW!”), I came up with this message to inform teaching teachers that one of their students has a book ready to be checked out. Again. * represents a student’s name –
Are you tired of coming to the library only to find the book you’re looking for is checked out? Tired of that empty feeling when you look on the shelf where your book should be and seeing a book shaped hole? Do you wish there was a way to “hold” a book, so that it’s kept in your name when it’s returned? Are you tired of all the questions in this e-mail? GOOD NEWS! No more questions, and * answered yes to each of the first three questions, put a book on “hold” and now it’s ready! Be warned! This “hold” will expire on TUESDAY 1/10.

Infomercially,
Jarrett