Morning Fun Time with Four Jarretts, pt . 2: Therapist Jarrett

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After a long wait, here is the second part of the “Morning Fun Time with Four Jarretts” series. It is Therapist Jarrett’s turn; I’ll be using the same template as the previous Morning Fun Time entry. He speaks thusly:
5:15: Alarm goes off. Check the time –
Use your left arm to push yourself up. When you get to your feet, put equal weight on the left leg.

Hobble into the kitchen to turn on the coffee pot –
*Flip the switch on the coffee maker with my right hand*
Couldn’t you have used your left hand for that? To make up for it you have to get a coffee mug out of the cabinet with your left hand, don’t forget to open the cabinet with your left hand also. Do you ever want to get any better?

Go to bathroom to brush teeth and take morning meds –
Why not brush with your left hand? Also, grab your meds with your left hand too.

Finish brushing my teeth, go back to kitchen to get a cup of coffee –
It’s okay for you to pour the coffee with your right hand, but you need to hold the cup with your left hand. Also, you’re not putting enough weight on your left leg

Pour coffee, go back to the bathroom for a shower; check time –
*Stepping into shower*
Step into the bathtub with your right foot first; you don’t want to step onto a slippery surface with all of your weight on your left leg.
*In the shower*
Use your left hand to grab the body wash, pop the lid, pour some onto the sponge thing and use your left hand to wash yourself.
Taskmaster Jarrett: We can’t use the left hand for that! That would be an egregious waste of time!

Get done with shower, check time again –
Taskmaster Jarrett: 5:35! Have I fallen into some sort of warp zone where time moves twice as fast? This therapy stuff is really slowing us down; time to get on the ball!
Therapist Jarrett: Now now, Ta-Ja! Slow and steady wins the race.

Comb hair, put on deodorant. Gather phone and coffee to take into room –
Grab the deodorant with your left hand. I think you can put more weight on your left leg.

Walk into room with dirty clothes. Consider putting the dirty clothes in the hamper, but then I’d have to move something off the lid.
If you can get Ta-Ja to shut up for a second, you can use your left hand to take that stuff off the lid and use your left hand to open the hamper.

Start getting dressed – remember to put my leg brace on.
You need to stretch your hamstring and your quad first! Do you ever want to get better?

Put on knee brace and clothes – check the clock about 5 times. Time to walk the dog.
Remember to hold the leash in your left hand and focus on walking with a smooth gait – make sure you’re bending your left knee enough so you don’t hyperextend or circumduct.

Get the leash on, poop bag in back pocket and potty treats in breast pocket. Walk out the door, lock up (I’m very paranoid), start walking.
*Instinctively transfer the leash from right hand to left hand to lock the door with my right hand
*During walk*
Stop circumducting, bend your knee!

Stomach growls, I head to the kitchen to get something to eat and coffee.
Hold the banana with your left hand while you hold the coffee mug with your right
Ta-Ja: Best idea you’ve had all morning, slow poke! That way you can optimize consumption.
I think too much, that much is obvious. Therapist Jarrett is a culmination of the many therapists I’ve had over the years. Since I don’t go to therapy anymore, I’ve taken on the personality of a therapist in some ways (Norman Bates with his mother from “Psycho” comes to mind).
If I’ve learned one thing from this experience, it’s patience and the value of the “little things”.
That said, I tend to get upset with myself (“do you want to get better?”), if I miss even ONE opportunity to use my left hand, etc. I’ll have missed my opportunity.

“Timesaver” #2: “To smell bad” – I got stuck contemplating the eternal question: “deodorant in my room or the bathroom?” You see, I’d go through phases where I’d put deodorant on right after a shower, but there’d be times that I’d forget and have to break the flow of my morning routine by going back into the bathroom for deodorant; I just couldn’t abide that “egregious unsanctioned activity.” I took the logicrazy step and bought more deodorant – one for my room, one for the bathroom and one for my travel bag

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