This is the next part in my controversial “emotions” series. I can’t call it part two because I’m going to discuss two emotions. Why not call it parts two and three you ask?
I can’t call it that because that name is boring. A better name that I’ve in this moment conceived is “part threwo”, which is a combination of the words two and three. Combining numbers two and three, gives us five; I’ll go with that – “Emotions, pt. 5”
You see, in this installment – in what can only be explained as blue flaming overachievement – I’m going to talk about TWO emotions that I have felt recently.
The first emotion can be summed up with the following picture –
Don’t be fooled by the smiley face. About a month ago, ice raineth from the sky such that my car door got frozen shut.
Being as tough as I am, I tugged and tugged until the door came off. I managed to get the door back on, but the handle stuck out. That part about ripping the door off and putting it back on is a lie.
Furthermore, I can only assume that this is unrelated to the door handle and speculate that it has to do with Satan, Cher or some other foul beast – my car keeps dying. Here is a little poem to describe the situation –
Oh car, I exited the highway, then you died
I pulled into a parking space at home, them you quit
Then, you stalled out in the Petco parking lot, dammit
Up to now you’ve been such a dependable ride.
You got me to McKinney,
Then you decided not to run.
Being stuck in the middle of the road isn’t fun.
I had to have a wrecker drive 30 miles to get me.
The cost to fix you has been high.
More than that, it’s been a big pain in the ass!
Oh car, why does your fuel pump stop pumping gas?
Please please please get better before I cry!
The mechanic can’t determine where the problem lies;
The Buick service dept. seems bumfuzzled too,
Here’s what I’ve decided to do –
Rent a car from Enterprise.
This should give the mechanic time to fix you,
And while he does, I don’t have to be without transportation
Calling for rides is a real agitation
With any luck, you’ll be back on the road in a few.
This broken car business has been quite an ordeal – I don’t wish to comment on it any further.
Instead, I’ll turn to happy business. I know I’ve already covered that “emotion”, so I’ll take it one step further and describe it more fullyer.
A few months ago, I told you about a PRESENTATION I gave to the seventh reading classes at the school where I work. The reading teachers had the kids make flyers as if I was coming to speak.
To be the object of an entire grades’ learning is quite a privilege; I felt very important. I don’t know if there’s a name for this “emotion” (or if it can even be called that). Whatever the case, I propose to call this “emotion” improrteged, or perhaps primporileged. Either way, I was greatly honored to be a vehicle to help transport young minds to learning.
That wraps it up for the 23rd (threword)/5th/2nd installment of my revolutionary “emotions” series.