Don’t Worry, Be Happy!

Life is filled with feelings. If one were so inclined, one might call these feelings “emotions”. Now, “emotions” is a blanket term encompassing everything from “happy” (i.e. the joy joy feeling when eating a donut), “mad” (the unjoy unjoy feeling when the donut shoppe (that’s right, not s h o p) doesn’t have any more maple cake donuts left. Grrr, hulk smash silly donut shoppe employee for being stupid!), and “sad” (the unhappiness resulting from the realization that you just finished your last donut).

There are more “emotions”, but I don’t care to list any more (however, I will tell you that me not caring = “apathy”)

In the time that has transpired since I last blogged, I’ve experienced many emotions. I thought I’d use my emotional status from the last month to guide this entry.

As previously mentioned, there are other “emotions”. This will be the start of a 40 part series (give or take) where I will explore “emotions” more fullier.

Let’s start with an event that made me happy (I believe it was Shakespeare that said “When thou dost bloggeth, thou shalt begin with merriment and mirth”) –

I’m now the proud owner of an AFO, or rather an “A Fancy Object”. But Jarrett! That’s not very clever! Why not “Awfully Farty Orangutan” or “Apple Fritter Oblivion”or some such display of wittiness?

Truth be told, I really tried to think of something better. Problem is, I’d think of something silly but couldn’t think of a believably funny way to explain it.

Instead I’m taking the easy way out and going with “A Fancy Object”. In effect, you can picture an AFO being whatever you think is awesome like so much Marcellus Wallace’s briefcase with the golden glow inside on Tarantino’s Pulp Fiction.

But what does AFO really mean, Jarrett? Ok, ok. AFO = Ankle Foot Orthosis. What’s an orthosis you ask? Let’s consult dictionary.com.

Me: Dictionary.com, what does orthosis mean?

Dictionary.com (voice of Sean Connery): Letsh jusht shee…aw! Saysh here that orthoshish ish “the correcshun of orthopedic maladjushtmentsh.”

Thank you, Sean!

“That’s mishter dicshionary to you, you handshum bausterd”

Eek, I think Sean Connery/Dictionary.com just made a pass at me.

Anyway, an AFO is a brace that goes on the lower leg and forces the knee to bend. Here is mine –

Do I walk more better/faster? Hmmm…honestly, I don’t think it’s anything noticeable, but I feel aches in parts of my leg that haven’t been used in a while, so I’d say, overall it’s a good thing.

Antwerp (I tried to swype ‘anywho’ and ‘Antwerp is what it came up with), many other things have made me happy; but I want to be happy about finally publishing a blog, so I’m gonna stop here.