“What should I do is vigorously but that the I need to document the blowhard at the top of the ta the most everything will I think it worked think I have my homework to me thank you for your help in this rating is the latch on to you later out of the thing well us tells you so I happen to have some course as always get as summary etc. note that bag works like if I ever found something use IQ a stock of the spring is in the myelin this thing.”
– Me via Dragon Naturally Speaking
I’ve been under the employ of The Good Shepherd Community Clinic, Inc. (GSCC) for about two months now. This job requires that I type more.  Since manually, I type a keyboard scorching 5.3wpm, I use dictation software – Nuance’s Dragon Naturally Speaking. The above gibberish was recorded as I spoke to a coworker about my difficulties mounting a dry erase board in my office. Let me stop there and insert that the comments that follow are not meant to disparage Nuance or its fine product. Quite the contrary, the software increases my efficiency by 152% (give or take, that’s a guesstimate based on a number I pulled out of my bottom).
Let’s analyze this –
“I need to document the blowhard at the top of the ta” must mean…uhh, I got nothin’. You see, I’ve found that Dragon works best when it has a context. Given that fact, we must ask what was the context for “blowhard” and “ta”? Let’s get the official definition of “blowhard” from dictionary.com – “an exceptionally boastful and talkative person.” I can’t say I’ve recently encountered a blowhard, but maybe some stepped into my office while I was away and started bragging about ninja skills or some such nonsense. The next chance it got, Dragon told me to either –
1 Catch this windbag not on ta, but on top of a ta. What is a ta and how does one ascend one?
2 While on top of ta, document the activities of a blowhard.
What about
“note that bag works like if I ever found something use IQ a stock of the spring is in the myelin this thing.”
Again, let’s look at context. It starts of plainly enough, explaining how bags work best if you find something (in it? To put in it?). Wait, I’ve deciphered that part, bags work best when you use your IQ to determine what to stock in it – this is easiest in the spring. If you try it in the summer, fall or, God save us, the winter, you will surely stock the bag with the wrong stuff, then you’ll die poor and lonely. I’m not sure about the remainder of the composition, but Dragon must’ve keyed in on a brain/intelligence vibe owing to the word “myelin” or “a soft, white, fatty material in the membrane of Schwann cells and certain neuroglial cells: the substance of the myelin sheath.” The way I understand it, myelin is the insulation that conducts neurological activity through brain cells. In a manner of speaking, it’s like the outside shell of a subway train car; without it, the train would still get people/stimuli to they’re/its destination, but the cargo will be a bit frazzled when it gets to its destination.
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My new job roxxorz my soxxorz. Basically, my job is to do everything that I enjoy doing and everything I went to school for. What makes it doubleplusgood is the work environment
Moving on; The GSCC has a strong focus on wellness and improving quality of life. As an employee, I’m encouraged to lead by example and choose a wellness goal or goals every week.
I’ve taken on a new vocation as development coordinator for a nonprofit clinic. We seek to spread wellness across our small community like so much chicken pox festering on the flesh of some unfortunate adolescent.
For my wellness challenge of late, I’ve chosen to write 750 words a week, THIS is word 50, fifty, making the number 50 the 53rd word, but it’s a number, so I’ll fix that. Now the problem is that the word ‘fifty’ is word #54. It has become a case of a number standing in for a word that is a number in a sequence of other words, and so on…
Moving on, my other wellness goal is to be more active with my left hand. Being as clever as I yam, I figured I’ll do them both simultaneously. As such, I’m doing that for tthis portion of the blog. From here on out, like in the previous ssentence, I’m going to leave mistakes – the spasticcitty often causes me to hit some letters twice.
The thing that irks me the most is that I started at about 8:45. It’s now 9:15. I’ve typed a whopping 158…one hundred fifty eight words, not counting the words (and number that counts as a word) after ‘whopping’. That’s a keybooard shredding 158 words/30 grueling minutes = 5.3 wpgm. I’ve found “active” to be especcially tedious – ‘a’ is typed by the left pinky, ‘c’ by the left middle, ‘t’ by the left index,a brief reprieve with ‘i’ on the right side, back to the left mifflr/index with ‘v’, and ginally ginish with ‘e’ with the left ring ginger.sq1e – almost dropped the keyboard. Ivan’t help but think of the symbology that “active” should be the most tiresome, when something like “difficult” id so much easier. I can’t take it anymore, I stop.

FIN

@JarretttLWilson