As library assistant, part of my job is to email reading teachers when a student has a book ready to be checked out. I started off writing simple “so-and-so has a book ready in the library he/she needs to pick it up by such and such date.” I quickly grew bored with this arrangement and started to write long-winded and convoluted messages, often based on famous writings from a multitude of genres. I really enjoyed writing them, I would like for you to enjoy reading them. That said, I present to you “SiLiMes” (Silly Library Messages). I have omitted the names of students, teachers and the dates, this information has been replaced with a _.


This first one is called “A Reading from HOLDmer”

Sing to me of the student, Ms. _, the student named _ that will come to the hallowed library of Piner Middle School to pick up a volume held in his/her name. Be sure s/he descends upon the room full of books on or before _ or Hermes will fly on his winged feet and take the book to the next name on the list!