Gas is Good!

Posted by

Happy June 30th to you all! This is a very special day. Today is the fifth anniversary of the June 30th that happened five years ago! Why is that day so special? I can’t say for sure, but being the “glass half full” kinda guy that I am, I think it’s entirely possible that something awesome happened that day. Perhaps I had some donuts or I found $20 on the ground. 

ITEM! We interrupt this trip down possible memory lane tO bring you breaking news. It turns out that cars need gas to function properly. My older sister, Jessica, and I decided to put this “fact” to the test. Turns out, the conventional wisdom on this subject is true; much the same as a sandwich needs mayonnaise (not Miracle Whip, dammit!), a car needs gas (not Miracle Whip, dammit!) Fortunately, we were very close to my parents’ abode and a source of that precious fossil fuel. We hoofed it to the nearest station of gas and other modern conveniences (Twinkies, air fresheners, Miracle Whip (dammit!) etc.), and procured the world’s most expensive gas can and filled it with dead dinosaur juice. A very nice fella by the name of Cornelius (I don’t know his name, I just thought it’d be cool if that was his name), offered to drive Jessica back to the car. I waited while Cornelius drove her to the car. Moments later she drove up and picked me up at the gas station. Isn’t gasoline great? (statement sponsored by Exxon Mobil). 

Fast forward to today (Saturday, June 30th). Jessica and I made it to my parents’ house and are celebrating the fifth anniversary of me possibly eating donuts or picking money up from the ground. To help commemorate this (potentially) awesome occasion, family has come from as far away as Kansas City(!)
The multitude of visitors might have something to do with an annual fourth of July celebration at casa de Wilson and/or all the food and booze. Either way, we have to “Stack” people on top of each other bc there are so many! (You see, that’s funny bc my mother’s half of the family has the last name ‘Stack’. As such, Stack has a double meaning – to make a pile as for storage purposes and people with the last name ‘Stack’.) Why did I explain all that? Bc I’m trying to make this blog entry longer through artificial means, a technique known as “rambling”. For instance, did you know that Shel Silverstein wrote “Boy Named Sue”? 

The problem I have when I start a blog entry is that I don’t know when to stop. So I’m going to try something new.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s