Happy 4th of July, Internet! I am slowing down on the Miclogs – sorry, so many video games, so little time. I’ll just jump right in: I had the baclofen trial and it was found not guilty by reason of it being an inanimate object. It was, therefore, set free to continue not doing anything. When I last checked, it wasn’t happy or sad about the decision, because pills don’t have emotions, or the means to express them if they did. You want more medicine humor? Or am I being a pill? The trial was deemed a success owing to the fact that my left leg was easier to relax and my left hamstring started to work (no more circumduction or hyperextension!). The “installation” is scheduled for July 28…coincidentally, Abraham Lincoln’s birthday – actually, I’m lying…chumps! Banks will be open that day, so your transactions should post just fine. I’ve gotta throw in one more wisecrack about the trial – the trial, a shot in the spine to inject baclofen, was done by a radiologist named Dr. Scott. After the injection, I shouted “Dr. Scotty, I need more medicine!” He abruptly replied, “I’ve given you all I got, captain!” Not sure why he called me captain, maybe it was the sailor hat they gave me so I’d stop crying.
In other news, I got a job as a sea captain; which is strange considering I’m nowhere close to an ocean. I’m that good, I guess. Jess and I finally exorcised the “poop in a diaper” demon from our daughter by *gasp*, not providing diapers. Listen, demons – like the “PiaD” demon – thrive on the inconsistency of humans. The SOB called a friend in to fill the void, though: the “pee in bed” demon. I’m pretty sure he’s a dude, so we call him “Mr. PiB”. Oh well, as I like to say, there are no problems, only solutions; we’ll figure this out, we can call the local priest – Jebidiah Pepper, Ph.D, or Dr. Pepper – to exorcise Mr. PiB.
I go now!