Micro- blog #3 -"Airing of Grievances"

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*COWBELL!* I’ve decided that the term “Micro-blog” is too long and cumbersome; therefore, I have taken such liberties with the English language as is my right as an American (freedom of speech includes fabricating new words, right? Webster be damned, this is the land of the free!) to invent a new word. Henceforth, my short blogs will be called will be called ”microgs”. *COWBELL!*
*COWBELL!* So, without further ado, I present microg #3 (“The Airing of Grievances”) –
*COWBELL!* Being both handicapped and highly learned, I tend to overanalyze the way others perceive me. One very clear indication that I have an affliction is my leg brace; therefore, I get asked “what happened to your leg?”. Let me overanalyze this common exchange for you: The scar from my BRAIN SURGERY is clearly visible on my head, which, you might think would lead to a more interesting conversation. Alas, no. It’s always ”what happened to your leg?”. I don’t expect people to look at my leg, then my head and conclude ”oh, stroke/hemorrhage and surgery”. But it seems to me that the scar on my head would warrant more curiosity. This social anachronism has led me to postulate the “Proximity of Outrageous Ouchies to Prime Operation Organs” hypothesis (hereafter to be referred to as the “POOPOO” hypothesis). The main premise of the “POOPOO” hypothesis is, as your injury approaches an organ responsible for some vital function (i.e. The heart, the brain, the butt, etc.), the chance for it to get introduced into conversation by anyone other than the afflicted goes down. As such, there is a much greater chance that a conversee will ask about My leg than my head (my head is closer to my brain than my leg is to my butt, you might even say that my brain is inside my head, if modern science is to be believed). *COWBELL!*
*COWBELL!* As I am “airing grievances” in this microg, I must air the grievance with myself that I have spent so many words on “POOPOO”. To that end, I will move on to another grievance. *COWBELL!*
*COWBELL!* My next grievance is something that literally “rattles” me – spasticity. You see, after my surgery my brain rewired itself in such a way that it constantly tells the muscles in my left arm and left leg to contract. This results in tremors up and down my left side and arm/leg muscles flexing without end; I have to concentrate on relaxing them the way anyone else would have to concentrate to tighten said muscles. As you can imagine, with all the shiny objects out there, I get distracted pretty easily. Therefore, the constant shaking and contracting has led to some very sore joints and appendages, it also puts me at risk for arthritis. And as a guy who doesn’t have or like arthritis, that grieves me! *COWBELL!*
*COWBELL!* I have many other grievances, but if this gets much longer, I wouldn’t be able to call it a “microg”, and that would grieve me! *COWBELL!*


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