Grammurder (Grammar+Murder): Writing w/grammar so bad that the writer symbolically kills the written page.
Gal: *Opens letter from publisher*
Dear Madam, you are not a writer, you are a grammurderer. Consider this your rap sheet for crimes against punctuation, spelling, and usage –
11 counts – there/they’re/their confusion
9 counts – its/it’s misuse
2 counts – loose/lose confusion
15 counts – ending a sentence with a preposition
Misspellings – I stopped counting at 67. My favorite –
“Are you ready for the big game?” he asked.
“OH YEAH!” shouted Myrna a little too enthusiastically.
“Are you excited for the oven mitt give way before the game starts?” asked Ignatius, bracing himself for another overzealous response.
“SUPPER EXITED!” she squealed.
Did her dinner leave or something?
As you would say, “theirs” no one hope for you.
May God have mercy on your soul,