I like big words and I cannot lie; you other brothers can’t deny…I don’t think the rest of the lyrics will work, plus I don’t know them. You see, I like words and I like efficiency/brevity (breviciency?). These two thingies grew reproductive organs, knew each other, and birthed the concept of a “Terd”. Terd = Term+Word, 2 words to make a new term. This term is a paradox as it is composed of 2 words.They are presented here in the order in which they were born, which happened to be by date, reversally. For example, I’ve started with 7/26 (Obviously)

Terd of 7/26-Text Massage(Text Msg.+ Massage): Receiving so many texts in a short period that the vibration can be used for a massage

Text Massage eg Gal: Who keeps texting you? Guy: Does it matter? I’m getting a nice text massage

Terd of the day-Buzzled(Buzzed+Puzzled): When drinking, the point where you start feeling drunk & everything’s confusing

Buzzled eg *At restaurant* Dude 1: The check is $38.16. How much is 15% for tip? Dude 2: IDK, I’m all buzzled

Terd of 7/24-Amn’t(Am+not): Is not and are not get contractions, why not as not?

Amn’t eg Dude: You want to eat? Gal: No thanks, I amn’t hungry. Dude: I really amn’t either

Terd of 7/22-Toise(Twah-zey.Toys+Noise). Noise from toys that make it difficult to communicate

Toise eg Mom: Honey, will you come kill this gigantic spider? Dad: What? I can’t hear you over Junior’s Toise

Terd of 7/20 -Grammurder (Grammar+Murder): Writing with such poor grammar that the writer literally murders the written page.

Grammurder eg Dude: Did you read my short story? Gal: Good storyline but you grammurdered it.

Terd of 7/19-Tacknology(Tacky+Technology): Modern convenience that makes an already simple task more simple and makes you look ridiculous

Tacknology eg Guy: I got a helmet to control the cursor on a PC Gal: Looks like you’ve a satellite dish on your head. That’s some tacknology

Terd of 7/18-Nitwat(Nitwit+twat): A very unintelligent slut

Nitwat eg Gal 1: Pam has been sleeping with everyone w/o using protection since breaking up with Tom Gal 2: What a nitwat!

Terd of 7/13 – Hoblate (Ho-blah-tey. Honey+Black Tea)-A very bad combination.

Hoblate eg Dude: I’ll wear brown belt & shoes, black slacks & blue sport jacket to the wedding. ok? Gal: How hoblate! That doesn’t match

Terd of 6/29-Soysage (Soy+Sausage): Food that looks like sausage, and kinda tastes like sausage,  but is not made from meat

Soysage eg. Kid sits down for breakfast. Kid: This sausage tastes funny Mom: It’s vegetarian sausage.  It’s healthy Kid: *Gags* not soysage!

Terd of 6/22: ConNunchion (Connection+Nunchuck)-When your Wii can’t sense a nunchuck on your Wiimote.

ConNunchion eg. Guy: “My controller doesn’t work!” Friend: “You lost your Connunchion dude.”

Terd of .75 (3/4)-Funmer(Fun+Bummer)n:Happy/pleasant event that takes all the sadness/negativity from a scenario

Funmer eg Worker: I was having a perfectly miserable day until Mick brought some donuts for the break room Mate: What a Funmer, man

Terd of 3/2-Texacoma(Texaco+Coma):A catatonic state of shock resulting from hearing or seeing gas prices

Texacoma eg Brother: What ‘s wrong with Dad? Sister: He heard the price of diesel on the news and went into a texacoma

Terd of 2/27- Doormant(Doorman+Dormant): n. A lazy doorman

Doormant eg *Man carrying 2 kids* Doorman, please open the door Doormant:Sorry sir, I’m busy *turns back to “Jersey Shore”, eats some candy*

Terd 2/25-Injourney(Injury+Journey):1.Injury from a Journey/adventure 2.Injury caused by a journey/adventure

Injourney eg 1 Jarrett’s Injourney began after having a brain hemorrhagein May ’09

Injourney eg 2 Mick injourneyed to the toilet after taking a drink of tap water while on vacation in Mexico

Terd of 2/22-Sucksessful(Sucks+Successful): When you are very good at not doing well in your pursuits

Sucksessful eg Man:I lost another case, honey Wife:Another one? Man: Yep. I am the firm’s most sucksessful lawyer

Terd of 2/18-Failty(Fail+Fealty):To be loyal to failing, even in the face of imminent success

Failty eg Guy 1:DUDE! How did you fail?I gave you all the answers! Guy 2:I’ve been failing all year,why should I stop now?

Terd of 2/15-‘F’icacious(F word+Efficacious): Using the ‘F’ bomb to make something happen

F’icacious eg Gal 1: May I borrow your car? Gal 2: No Gal 1: May I borrow your f’n car? Gal 2: Ok

Terd of 2/13-Panegnacious(Panegyric+ Pugnacious): To exalt someone by assaulting him/her

Panegnacious eg Mick was so impressed by the candidate’s speech that after the event he gave him 2 black eyes and a punctured lung

Terd of 2/11-Amazombie(Amazon+Zombie):Person who mindlessly seeks merchandise on Amazon the way a zombie seeks brains

Amazombie eg Gal 1: Did you hear that Kelsi bought frozen burritos from Amazon? Gal 2: She is a total Amazombie

Terd of 2/9-Gregregious(Gregarious+Egregious):To be so sociable, it is offensive or annoying esp. w/social media

Gregregious eg FB Friend: Selling a record player? That really need to be a status update? How Gregregious

Terd of 2/8 -“On a droll” (On a roll+Droll): When a typically boring person becomes oddly humorous

On a droll eg Gal:The accounting stiff won’t stop with mustache jokes. He said covering TPS reports is a must-ache Guy: He’s been on a droll

Terd of the 2/6-Impotinent(Impertinent+Impotent): When it’s especially rude if/when a man can’t get it up

Impotinent eg Gal 1: So I do a striptease for this guy and he still can’t get it up! Gal 2: Some men are so impotinent

Irresistibullshit (Irresistible+Bullshit): A story or statement that is so preposterous, that you can’t possibly stop listening

Irresistibullshit eg BF:…Then the guy said he has herpes bc of his mustache, the girls love it GF: What a bunch of Irresistibullshit, tell me more

Terd of the Week 4-Somediquette (Social+Media+Etiquette): the rules, both tacit/overt, that guide behavior on social media sites

Somediquette eg Gal: You hear Kim’s bf dumped her by changing his fb status to single? Gal 2: OMG! He needs a Somediquette lesson!

Terd of 1/30 – Scisseared (Scissor + Ear): When your ear gets cut while getting a haircut

Scisseared eg Stylist 1: You make pretty good money today? Stylist 2: I was doing pretty well, until I scisseared my 3:00

Terd of 1/28 -Unsanctivity (Unsanctioned+ Activity): An activity/event one has to endure that is not on the agenda

Unsanctivity eg Driving to school Kid: Let’s stop for ice cream Dad: No way! We’re already running behind, ice cream would be an unsanctivity

Terd of 1/25 – Alharm (Alarm+harm): An alarm system that hurts you to remind you to do something

Alharm eg Gal: Sorry I’m late, I slept through my alarm Friend: Pain will wake you up, get an alharm

Terd of the 1/23 – Goone (Good+One): A faster way to compliment someone on a job well done

Goone eg 1 Guy telling joke:…No, but that sure is a nice ski mask *chortle* Listener: That’s a goone!

Goone eg 2 Dad: Bet you can’t hit me with a snowball Son winds up, hits him square in the balls Dad (gasping): goone son.

Terd of the 1/21-Quietc(Quiet+etc): The polite way to ask someone who has started to ramble to be quiet

Quietc eg Start topic:gun control Guy:…I explained that M&Ms taste the same regardless of color Gal:The hell you goin on about?Plz be quietc

Terd of 1/20-Impetumspect (Impetuous+ Circumspect): Thinking about committing a thoughtless act

Gal:I’ve considered the issues, I’m going to vote republican Guy:Republicans don’t think much. Seems Impetumspect

Terd of 1/18-Fotoe(Foe+Toe): An aching toe that causes you to walk funny

Fotoe eg *Man limps into room* Guy: Hurt your knee? Man: It’s my toe, it’s killin me! Guy: Sounds like a fotoe

Terd of 1/16-Blallpoint/Blullpoint pen(Black/Blue+ ballpoint pen): uhh…do I need to explain this one?

Blallpoint/Blullpoint eg Guy:Hand me a blallpoint pen, please *Gives him a blue pen* Guy:No! Not blullpoint! I need blallpoint!

Terd Of 1/15-Convertruder(conversation + intruder): person that starts the intersation (see previous Terd of 1/14)

Girl:…So I told the guy THE MUFFIN SHOP IS CLOSED! Convertruder: I LOVE muffins! Blueberry is my fave!

Terd of 1/14 – Intersation(interrupt+ conversation): New conversation that spawns from an interrupted conversation

Intersation eg Gal: …rash got so bad I had to take my dog to the vet Passerby: Ooh, I’ve a dog! Her name is Cleo

Terd of 1/12 – Divog(Diva+Dog): A dog that refuses to do something a dog should do. Variation: Prima Dogga

Divog eg Fido refused to go walking in the rain for fear that he would step in mud. Owner: “Fido, Stop being such a divog”

Terd of 1/11 – Perfert(Perfect+Pervert): A person who is flawlessly creepy and inappropriate

Perfert eg Girl 1:The old man at the register kept staring at your tits! Girl 2 Yeah! He still gave me correct change. What a perfert

Terd of the 1/10 – Moisterous (Moist+Boisterous): To become more obnoxious after getting wet

Moisterous eg After getting thrown in a pond, a moisterous Mick decided to give his elderly grandmother a noogie

Terd of 1/9 – Felying (Feline + Lying): Falsely accusing a cat

Felying eg Mom: Who left the back door open, and will help pay the electric bill? Kid: The cat Cat: *meow*

Terd of 1/7 – Daughtator(Daughter + Imitator): A mother who dresses and acts like her teenage daughter.

Daughtator eg Chick 1:Who’s the old lady in the skinny jeans walking around with Jamie? Chick 2:That’s Jamie’s mom – she’s a real daughtator

Terd of 1/6 – Populore(Popular+Lore): A legendary story (often fabricated) about how someone gained popularity

Populore eg Legend has it that Mick gained superstar status at his HS by renting the gym to the rotary club for a dance

Terd of 1/4 – Pondord(Ponder+Word): To take a moment to think of the right word

Pondord eg Terrified, Mick stopped and pondord for a moment to describe his gf’s new haircut w/o hurting her feelings

Terd of the Week 3-Traumedy(trauma+comedy): To sustain life-threatening injuries as a result of trying to be funny.

Traumedy eg *At a bar* Mick was telling the story of his gf’s sex fart. His gf walked by, overheard and punched him giving him a concussion

Terd of 12/31-Frusterical(Frustrating+Hysterical): Describes a situation that has become so frustrating, that one can’t help but laugh

Frusterical eg *Carwash* man repeatedly puts $1 in change machine,after 5th rejection – man laughs uncontrollably Observer:How frusterical!

Terd of 12/30-Castrgate(Castrate+Castigate):To reprimand a man so badly that his testicles fall off.

Castrgate eg Dude1:Melvin’s gf verbally attacked him for using the wrong detergent Dude2:Had he balls to start,they’d have been castrgated

Terd of 12/28: Beyawesome(Beyond+Awesome):Object/event so spectacular that it would be an insult to simply refer to it as “awesome”

Beyawesome eg *Two friends find a tree with money for leaves* Friend 1: This is so cool! Friend 2: Recognize, fool! This is beyawesome!

Terd of 12/26 -Scute(So + Cute): someone or something so precious, it’s description goes beyond typical levels of cute.

Scute e. g. Dude: That motorcycle is precious! Another dude: I agree. It’s scute!

Terd of 12/21-Lote(Love + Hate): To simultaneously loathe and adore someone or something

Lote eg Chick: That dress is so hot! But the coloring is all wrong! Another chick: I agree. I lote it!

Terd of 12/21: Treachicious (Treacherous+Delicious): A tasty food that’s somehow perilous to eat

Treachicious eg Dude:This is tasty! Chick:Careful.It’s poisonous if not cooked right Dude: It’s treacherous and delicious.It’s treachicious!

Terd of 12/19 – Beautrosity (Beautiful+ Monstrosity): A terrifying concept that’s still alluring

Beautrosity Ex. Some Dude: “Erica is weird looking but I can’t look away” Another Dude: “Sounds like she’s a real beautrocity

Terd of 12/17: Preydator: Prey + Predator. To hunt and be hunted at the same time.

Preydator eg Nature show-Minotaur creeps up on a unicorn.Leprechaun appears and eats him up. Narrator: “So it is for a common preydator”

Terd of 10/14: Prolastic:Protective+Plastic. *Man fussing w/plastic on coffeemaker* Wife:done?I want coffee. Man:Damn prolastic won’t come off!

Terd of 10/12: Threatertainment-Threat+Entertainment. Example- Salesman: “3D TV may cause seizures.” Customer:”That’s Threatertainment!”

Terd of 1/6-Populore(Popular+Lore):A legendary story (often fabricated) about how someone gained popularity

Populore eg Gal 1:Why is that ugly, smelly guy so popular? Gal 2:Rumor has it that he once drank some gas & farted a fireball

Terd of 1/2-Traumedy(trauma+comedy): To sustain life-threatening injuries as a result of trying to be funny

Traumedy eg The dorky teacher wanted to spice things up, he did the stanky leg to a song about biology. He fell and broke his hip

Terd of 12/9:”Sardy”- Sorry+Tardy. Example: Teacher:”You’re 3 min late, Mr. Student.” Student:”Sardy, Mrs. Teacher. I had to the pee.”

Terd of 10/7: “Illustrilist”. Lovechild of illustrious and list.Ex.: “This party has fancy guests.” “Yeah, it’s quite the Illustrilist.”

Terd of 10/6: “bangry”, the lovechild of bored and angry Ex.: “How do you feel about this play?” “It’s making me bangry”