Microg #4 ("The Feats of Strength")

As my last microg was about grievances (complaints), this microg will be about my strengths (achievements).
The most significant achievement of late has been to brave the trap ridden cave that is the modern private disability insurance industry and come out with the golden idol (an approved claim).
In other words, I don’t work in the official sense. I spend my days cleaning the house, doing laundry, washing dishes and doing what my three year old daughter tells me to do. I have found that this stuff is work that chumps without disability insurance don’t get paid for; it certainly keeps me busy.
I also found the Ark of the Covenant and melted a bunch of Nazis (score one for democracy!).
When I’m not busy doing housework or finding religious artifacts that melt fascists, I’m working on my computer, messing with A/V in the living room or manipulating technology in some other way. This was a goal I set for myself long ago and can proudly say that my tech habit is back to pre-hemorrhage levels. If I may type a song to my wife – “I still love technology, but not as much as you, you see. Always and forever”. I wrote that after I heard it on a movie ; ).
Another significant “feat of strength” is passing the driving test and returning to the road. So far, I’ve only hit, four cats, two dogs, five mailboxes, one parked car (it was an Oldsmobile so, eh), three children and two adults (I honked. What do you want from me?). But seriously, I only hit three mailboxes : P.
That’s it for microg 4, hope you learned something.


Micro- blog #3 -"Airing of Grievances"

*COWBELL!* I’ve decided that the term “Micro-blog” is too long and cumbersome; therefore, I have taken such liberties with the English language as is my right as an American (freedom of speech includes fabricating new words, right? Webster be damned, this is the land of the free!) to invent a new word. Henceforth, my short blogs will be called will be called ”microgs”. *COWBELL!*
*COWBELL!* So, without further ado, I present microg #3 (“The Airing of Grievances”) –
*COWBELL!* Being both handicapped and highly learned, I tend to overanalyze the way others perceive me. One very clear indication that I have an affliction is my leg brace; therefore, I get asked “what happened to your leg?”. Let me overanalyze this common exchange for you: The scar from my BRAIN SURGERY is clearly visible on my head, which, you might think would lead to a more interesting conversation. Alas, no. It’s always ”what happened to your leg?”. I don’t expect people to look at my leg, then my head and conclude ”oh, stroke/hemorrhage and surgery”. But it seems to me that the scar on my head would warrant more curiosity. This social anachronism has led me to postulate the “Proximity of Outrageous Ouchies to Prime Operation Organs” hypothesis (hereafter to be referred to as the “POOPOO” hypothesis). The main premise of the “POOPOO” hypothesis is, as your injury approaches an organ responsible for some vital function (i.e. The heart, the brain, the butt, etc.), the chance for it to get introduced into conversation by anyone other than the afflicted goes down. As such, there is a much greater chance that a conversee will ask about My leg than my head (my head is closer to my brain than my leg is to my butt, you might even say that my brain is inside my head, if modern science is to be believed). *COWBELL!*
*COWBELL!* As I am “airing grievances” in this microg, I must air the grievance with myself that I have spent so many words on “POOPOO”. To that end, I will move on to another grievance. *COWBELL!*
*COWBELL!* My next grievance is something that literally “rattles” me – spasticity. You see, after my surgery my brain rewired itself in such a way that it constantly tells the muscles in my left arm and left leg to contract. This results in tremors up and down my left side and arm/leg muscles flexing without end; I have to concentrate on relaxing them the way anyone else would have to concentrate to tighten said muscles. As you can imagine, with all the shiny objects out there, I get distracted pretty easily. Therefore, the constant shaking and contracting has led to some very sore joints and appendages, it also puts me at risk for arthritis. And as a guy who doesn’t have or like arthritis, that grieves me! *COWBELL!*
*COWBELL!* I have many other grievances, but if this gets much longer, I wouldn’t be able to call it a “microg”, and that would grieve me! *COWBELL!*


Micro- blog #2

True to my word (and the counsel of my ”blogtor”), herein are the words of the clumsy and wonky armed Jarrett, it shall be named micro-blog #2, so let it be done!
The girls and I went to a carnival fundraiser for a co-worker’s daughter. She (the daughter) was diagnosed with Leukemia not long ago and has already been through quite a bit. I’m not sure how old the little one is, but I’m sure she is less than 10. Now, I’ve gone through quite a bit also, but I got to live ~30 years free of major medical problems. This poor girl isn’t even a teenager yet and she has to contend with a serious illness. Moreover, her parents have to endure seeing their only daughter get ravaged by both the sickness and the cure. Life is unfair, but is unfairer for some than it is for others. I have every confidence that she will persevere and live a long and happy life, all the more joyful that she is alive to enjoy each new day, but I believe that the sadness, heartache and trials she (like me) has to endure to attain that joy are are not worth it. She has a good family and has every reason to feel joy without this contrast.
This largely holds true for me, as well. I have a loving and committed wife, a beautiful and vivacious daughter and three dogs that show their love by trying to knock me down the stairs every time I descend them, as well as a very understanding and caring network of family, in-laws and friends. I don’t need hardship to know joy.
Stay tuned for micro-blog #3 which, I promise, will have MORE COWBELL!


Micro-blog #1

I haven’t added to my blog for a long time because I haven’t made the time to add to it. Up until now, I (erroneously) believed that each entry had to be a long and exhaustive update on all things Jarrett. This misguided approach to blogging, coupled with my diminished ability to type and the concomitant frustration that results, effectively stifled my blogging gland (my “bland”, if you will). In order to de-stifle said gland (the “bland”, as I just mentioned), my blogtor said I should try writing less, but more often. Behold! The micro-blog was born!
Let’s get to it then –
I don’t work any more. The district approved FMLA starting back in January (the start of the spring semester), I have since resigned.
I am not without remuneration, the private disability insurance I auspiciously signed up for when I started working graciously agreed that I was indeed disabled and will pay me to be disabled for the next two years.
Therefore, I spend my days at home cleaning, cooking and physical therapy-ing.
Most of my time is spent as Qs (Quinn, my daughter) thrall. She says “jump”, I say “I can’t, I’ll fall down”, she says “I want a pop tart”, and I say “we’re all out, you ate the last one yesterday”, then she screams until my ears bleed (then I hear birds singing : D).
I think that’ll be all for micro-blog #1, stay tuned for #s 2, 3, 4…and so on, and in that order! Ciao.


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